Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
