They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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