i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
