You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
