I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
