We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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