I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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