her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
