my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
