Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
