I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize