Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
