new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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