Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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