Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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