I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize