so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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