i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
