I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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