I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
