I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
