he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
