do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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