I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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