Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Mom said you looked used
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
