If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
