Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
