Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
