Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
her vagine was all disorganized.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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