brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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