that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
