Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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