Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
