; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
