Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize