i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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