just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize