But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
