so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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