You just made me feel so damn special
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
