I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
