what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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