phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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