so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
