i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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