also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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