The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Fuck appropriateness.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
