Plan B is the new Plan A
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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