you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
