Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
