dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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