what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
