I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
