Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
