you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
