You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
