I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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